Filipino Dating Terms, Acronyms & Emotions: A Man’s Guide
The Ultimate Guide to Filipino Dating Terms and Acronyms
You’re in a great conversation with a lovely Filipina, and everything is going smoothly. Then, a term like “MU” or “Kilig” pops up in the chat, leaving you scrambling to Google for a translation. The language of modern Filipino dating is a unique blend of English, Tagalog, and clever acronyms that can be confusing for a Western man.
But don’t worry—this guide is your decoder ring. We’ve expanded it to include not just common slang but also a deep dive into over 20 unique Filipino emotions. Learning these terms is about more than just understanding the chat; it’s about showing you’re genuinely interested in her world. Understanding her language is a powerful way to connect with her culture, and her heart.
Decoding the Chat: Essential Filipino Dating Acronyms
Texting and online chat are the lifeblood of a long-distance relationship. These common acronyms are used constantly to save time and express relationship statuses.
| Acronym | Meaning | Context & What It Means for You |
|---|---|---|
| LDR | Long-Distance Relationship | This is the default status for most Filipino-Western couples. Being good at it is crucial, and you can get tips from our LDR guide. |
| MU | Mutual Understanding | This is a pre-relationship stage where two people like each other and are exclusively dating, but are not officially a couple. It’s a serious step before becoming “Jowa.” |
| Jowa | Boyfriend / Girlfriend | This means you are in an official, committed relationship. It’s the goal after the MU stage. |
| NBSB / NGSB | No Boyfriend Since Birth / No Girlfriend Since Birth | This is often seen as a positive trait, indicating that a person is relationship-oriented and not interested in casual flings. |
| G.R.O. | Guest Relations Officer | Red Flag Warning: This is often a euphemism for a bar girl or prostitute. If she says this is her job, proceed with extreme caution and reference our romance scams guide. |
A Westerner’s Guide to 20+ Filipino Emotions & Expressions
To truly connect with a Filipina, you need to understand the unique emotional landscape of the culture. Many Filipino terms for feelings don’t have a direct one-word translation in English. The goal here isn’t for you to “use” these terms, but to understand what she means and respond with empathy and wisdom when she uses them.
The “Kilig” Factor: Romance & Attraction
Kilig
Meaning: The giddy, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling of romantic excitement from an interaction with someone you’re attracted to.
How to Respond: This is a huge compliment! If she says you’re making her feel “kilig,” what you’re doing is working. Keep being charming and sweet.
Torpe
Meaning: A man who is desperately in love with a woman but is too shy or cowardly to tell her or make a move.
How to Respond: Don’t be this guy. While patience is valued, confidence is attractive. You must be the one to lead the courtship.
Ligaw
Meaning: The traditional Filipino form of courtship. It’s a long and patient process of proving your sincere intentions to a woman and her family.
How to Respond: While you won’t be chopping wood for her parents, you should embody the spirit of ligaw online by being patient, respectful, and consistent.
Harana
Meaning: A traditional romantic gesture where a man serenades the woman he is courting, often outside her window.
How to Respond: While not expected today, the spirit of grand romantic gestures is still appreciated. Sending a thoughtful message or a small, unexpected gift can be a modern-day harana.
The Sweet & The Sour: Affection & Displeasure
Lambing
Meaning: A sweet display of affection, often used to coax, charm, or show endearment.
How to Respond: Reciprocate it. If she’s showing you lambing, it’s a sign of intimacy. Respond with your own sweet words and affection.
Tampo
Meaning: Not just anger, but a withdrawal of affection when feeling hurt or slighted. It’s a quiet, sulking state.
How to Respond: Do not ignore it. Tampo is a call for you to make amends. The cure is often lambing—a sincere apology and a sweet, persuasive effort to win back her good mood. Learn more in our guide to Tampo and Lambing.
Selos
Meaning: The common feeling of jealousy.
How to Respond: Be reassuring and transparent. A little jealousy can be seen as a sign of caring, but it’s important to address it with open communication to maintain trust.
Sumpong
Meaning: A sudden, unpredictable, and often unexplainable bad mood or mood swing.
How to Respond: Don’t take it personally. Give her space if she needs it, or offer simple comforts like asking if she’s okay or listening if she wants to talk. Patience is key.
Inis & Galit
Meaning: Inis is a feeling of annoyance or irritation. Galit is true, deep anger.
How to Respond: It’s important to know the difference. If she’s feeling inis, a simple apology or a change of subject might work. If it’s galit, you need to have a serious conversation to understand what’s wrong and resolve the conflict.
The “Gigil” Zone: Overwhelming Sensations
Gigil
Meaning: The intense, almost uncontrollable urge to squeeze or pinch something overwhelmingly cute, like a puppy or a baby.
How to Respond: Share in the delightful feeling! It’s a playful, positive emotion. If she says she feels gigil towards you, take it as a sign of deep affection.
Panggigil
Meaning: The opposite of gigil. It’s the trembling, teeth-gritting urge to squeeze something out of intense anger or frustration.
How to Respond: This is a sign of serious anger. It’s time to de-escalate the situation, give her space, and address the root cause of her frustration calmly and seriously.
The Social Fabric: Community & “Face”
Hiya
Meaning: A complex emotion often translated as “shame” or “embarrassment,” but it’s more about maintaining social harmony and not losing face.
How to Respond: Never put her in a position where she might feel hiya. Don’t criticize her publicly or be overly boastful. Always be polite and humble to avoid causing her or her family to lose face.
Pakikisama
Meaning: The value of getting along with others and maintaining good relationships within a group. It’s about camaraderie and being a good team player.
How to Respond: Show that you value her friends and family. Make an effort to get along with them. Being good at pakikisama is a sign that you will fit well into her social circle.
Utang na Loob
Meaning: A “debt of gratitude.” It’s a deep, personal, and lifelong sense of obligation to someone who has done you a significant favor.
How to Respond: Understand that if you do a major favor for her or her family, it may create this feeling. Be generous without expecting anything in return. Likewise, acknowledge the help you receive from her and her family with genuine gratitude.
The Soulful Side: Deeper Expressions
Bahala Na
Meaning: A uniquely Filipino expression of leaving things to fate or to God’s will. It’s a mix of “come what may” and a deep-seated faith.
How to Respond: This is not a sign of laziness. It’s a cultural expression of faith and resilience after one has done their best. Respond with supportive understanding, not criticism.
Hinanakit
Meaning: A deep-seated, silent resentment or grudge against someone who has wronged you.
How to Respond: This is a serious emotion that can poison a relationship. Encourage open communication. If you sense she is holding onto hinanakit, it’s vital to address the issue and seek true forgiveness and resolution.
Pag-ibig & Mahal
Meaning: Both mean love, but Pag-ibig is a deeper, more profound love (like the love for God or country). Mahal is the word used for romantic love and also means “expensive,” implying that love is precious and valuable.
How to Respond: Use “Mahal kita” for “I love you.” Understanding the weight of the word will help you use it with the sincerity it deserves.
Tuwa & Saya
Meaning: Both mean happiness, but Tuwa is a more intense, bubbling-up joy, while Saya is a more general state of happiness or contentment.
How to Respond: Knowing the difference adds richness to your communication. If you cause her tuwa, you’ve created a moment of pure delight!
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is the most common Filipino emotion I might encounter?
In a positive sense, hopefully “Kilig”! In a challenging sense, “Tampo” is a very common emotional expression you should learn to navigate with patience and affection.
What’s the difference between having “MU” and a “Jowa”?
“MU” (Mutual Understanding) is the stage before the official relationship. You are exclusive and getting to know each other seriously. “Jowa” means you are officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
Is traditional “Ligaw” still practiced today?
The formal, traditional version is less common in cities, but its spirit lives on. The expectation that the man should be patient, respectful, and prove his serious intentions before a woman commits is still a very strong part of the dating culture.
Why is “NBSB” (No Boyfriend Since Birth) considered a good thing?
In a culture that values long-term commitment, being NBSB is seen as a sign that a woman is not interested in casual flings and has been waiting for a serious, marriage-minded partner. It implies purity of intention.
Is it okay to ask her what a term means?
Absolutely! It’s much better to ask than to misunderstand. It also shows you are paying attention and want to learn. She will likely find it endearing and be happy to explain.
How can I use these terms without sounding unnatural?
Focus on understanding, not necessarily using. Your job is to recognize and respond appropriately to her emotions. The best way to learn is to listen to how she uses these words and let her be your guide.
What is a “13th month pay” I hear about near Christmas?
This is a government-mandated annual bonus for all employees in the Philippines, equivalent to one month’s salary. It’s a significant financial event, especially around the holidays, and may be part of conversations about finances.
What is the most important cultural value to understand?
While all are important, understanding “Hiya” (saving face) is crucial. Always strive to be polite and respectful in a way that never causes embarrassment to her or her family.
Speaking the Language of the Heart
Language is a window into the soul of a culture. By taking the time to understand these unique Filipino emotions and expressions, you are doing more than just learning words. You are showing her that you care enough to understand her world, her values, and her heart. This effort is one of the greatest romantic gestures you can make.
